HOW OFTEN IS THE CRIMINAL ABUSER TRULY AN ABUSED PERSON?

Criminals Victims of Abuse? Constantly, I encounter the view that people become abusers because they were themselves abused. This is part of what has come to be an accepted theory about the etiology of crime. But how true is it? I suggest consideration of several factors in evaluating this conventional wisdom.

Criminals Victims of Abuse?

First, offenders are often not truthful. After the fact, they say whatever they think will exonerate them from culpability. In doing so, they tell others whatever they think will gain them a sympathetic ear and minimize unpalatable consequences. When held accountable, offenders may claim they were abused when it never occurred.

Secondly, some children were abused by parents who themselves are criminals. But not all children who were abused turn to crime. They react in many different ways. Some become withdrawn, depressed, blame themselves, withdraw from people, and so forth. There are, in other words, a variety of responses. Some formerly abused youngsters turn out to be responsible adults. Although they may bear emotional scars, they turn out to be model parents and are extremely nurturing and attentive to their offspring’s needs. These are not the people about whom you read in the morning newspaper.

A critical consideration is that, even as a young child, the criminal elicits certain responses from his environment depending upon the choices he makes. As anyone with an antisocial child knows, life at home can be a nightmare. This child abuses others, notably his siblings and his parents. Any family gathering is spoiled by this restless, dissatisfied youngster. The criminal as a child assaults his siblings, pits one against the other, steals from them, and, in some cases, sexually abuses them. He is similarly abusive of property in the home. As a child, the criminal turns nearly any request into a battleground, then cynically plays one parent against the other. He senses their vulnerabilities and tries to wear his parents down and wrest concessions. Is it any wonder then that even the most patient parent becomes exasperated and eventually, in frustration, slaps or hits his child? That youngster then turns around and threatens to turn the parent in for child abuse! The focus then is on the parent, not the youngster.

The fact is that the criminal as a child has been abusing others from an early age. Anyone who interferes with what he wants, he singles out for further abuse and then accuses that individual of abusing him.

Concerning “sexual abuse,” there are of course people who are sexually exploited and abused by criminals. This can be traumatic. However, the criminal as a child is open to many forms of excitement seeking. He may, after the fact, accuse others of abusing him; whereas the fact is that he was open to sexual activity and found it another forbidden avenue that is exciting. This does not exonerate the adult who engages in sexual activity. And it is not to “blame the child.” Rather it is to say that one must know who the criminal is and how he functions. It is usually the case that he has been abusive to others and elicited certain responses from his environment. Only after the fact does he try to enlist the sympathies of others, relating how he was the victim of terrible abuse.

When one knows who the criminal is, he can get behind the self-serving stories and avoid confusing accountability statements with the facts.